Friday, March 26, 2021

A Posthumous Recap of Opening Weekend

 

Et tu, Brute?
Hello and welcome to the 17th (should be 18th) edition of the Anyone But Cro Invitational.  I apologize for the length of time it’s taken for me to get this post together.  Although we’ve been in this pandemic for over a year, we still find ourselves in unprecedented times.

I must admit, I was surprised at the amount of interest in the tournament this year.  Without the ability to gather and watch in groups, I thought the appeal would down.  But as the tournament approached, more people started asking about defeating Cro.  These fine bracketeers could not have that admirable goal taken out from under them.  It was up to me to make Cro’s bracket public and have it fend for itself against all comers.

This year we have 29 official entries.  We had 30, but he only filled in the first round before his dinner was ready.  He never returned to fill out the remaining.  I’ll toss in an extra $10 so we’ve got a nice even pot of $300.  Still waiting on payments from The Fusco’s, The Cutter’s, and Meech.  Which surprises absolutely no one.  Perhaps they were withholding payment until this post, which I suppose would be fair.  We’ll shake out the pot to be $250 to the winner, $40 to runner up, and $10 to third place.  Finishing in the top 10% is something to be rewarded.

The first weekend got off to a bit of an odd start.  With Opening Day being on a Friday instead of Thursday, everything felt a little bit off kilter.  It did however, provide us with the world’s first live broadcast at a man’s soul leaving his body over Zoom.  You’ll notice that Ohio State super fan BG has exactly zero pigment left in his face. 

After the brackets were released, a grainy video of what appeared to be Gollum from Lord of the Rings begin to surface over the internet.  After some digital clean up, it was actually ESPN’s own Joe Lunardi, making a bold prediction.  He’s calling for the head of Brutus Buckeye and an upset of #2 Ohio State at the hands of #15 Oral Roberts.  There was only one person whose opinion on this video matter, and that was BG.  His ghastly remains are shown above.  His initial response was to hurl vicious insults at the man by calling him a genital wart.  He claimed that he didn’t even care if he was right!  He said Lunardi appeared as if he lives in a cave and scratches brackets into the wall while living off nothing but raw fish.

Bold words from a man who claimed to not care!  We will look back at our time with BG with great fondness.  He cared deeply about his alma mater and Frat Pack comedies from the early 2000s.  We will honor is memory with a service during the next Ohio State home football game.  His casket will ‘Dot the I” during the marching bands performance.

Other honorable mentions for last week need to go to Uncle K, D – Weeze, and Pat Shields.  Uncle K sends his bracket in every year under the title “Uncle K’s Winning Bracket”, only to suffer a quick exit.  This year he appears to be a serious contender!  Will need to see Villanova into the Final Four if he’s going to find success.  D Weeze and Pat Shields also deserve applause for still having their Final Four full intact.  That’s always a key to making a deep run in this competition.  Cro does too, but we will not laud him here.

It appears the ABC is coming down to Michigan/Alabama in the South, if Houston can escape the Midwest, and how far Villanova goes.  We will know a lot more after these second round games shake out.  It appears they start tomorrow if you happen to know what day it is.

Look for more standing updates in the coming days!

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