ABC Invitational - 1st Round Standings

The scene was Grotto’s Pizza on Main Street on the campus of the University of Delaware. The place was mobbed with townies who cheer for the chalk teams. It was apparent that picking an upset was against the townie code. We had just eaten two pizzas and downed some beers. Western Kentucky was up big on Drake and I was about to flip on Cro if I heard “Hilltoppers!!” with a finger wag one more time. However, Drake made a run and the game ended up going into overtime. Long story short, Western Kentucky hit a shot with no time left on the clock to win it, and sent Grotto’s into an absolutely frenzy. I felt like I had just been shot behind the left knee as I had collapsed in a heap behind our table. Cro was overjoyed and we had to hear about how he loves the ABC. Absolute nonsense.

I have beef with Cro because he talked too much hype about how ridiculous he was going to look for the Tennessee game. He had away messages 2 weeks prior that stated “Tennessee gear is in.” He slept in a disgustingly bright orange “In Bruce We Trust” t-shirt. He woke up and told me orange was sexy. However, at the bar, he covered his VOLS t-shirt with an Abercrombie hoodie and had his Tennessee headband on for less than a half of the game. The entire time the headband was on, he was beat red. I’m assuming he was self conscious about his image. A true Bruce Pearl fan would have shown up in orange body paint and suspenders. Intense my ass. Intense was the last word that came to mind. If one word could describe Cro’s performance, it was concerned. American could have easily won the game. Tennessee will not win the championship because they can’t shoot foul shots and can’t rebound.

Lets not panic yet though Cro Haters. As you can tell from his bracket, he has USC in the Elite 8. It was incredible to see him in shambles at Matilda’s. I wish you were all there to revel in my elation. Nothing, NOTHING, is better than watching Cro lose.

A close second is watching Cutter lose. After suffering through Red Sox championships, Patriots 18-1 (hahahah) season, and the Celts going from worst to first, Cutter has fallen on hard times. He has USC in the Final Four. What an idiot! He’ll make up some excuse like “Yo, I don’t care. I don’t know anything about b-ball.” Nobody knows anything about basketball. But it is great to see Cutter suck so early. I can only hope that his misery continues. One of the best K-State wins ever.

Amanda “Pants” Short is the other person that deserves a “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!” Poor girl had Vanderbilt in the Final Four, only to see them lose to the Siena Saints. She’s lucky she’s downstate this weekend to avoid the ridicule!!

After making a phone call to the Atallian residence, Big Mike informed me that The Dennis was found in the family room in shambles after the San Diego victory. He was furious that he had lost two games in a row to overtime buzzer beaters. Picking the close one separates me the men from the boys. At least it wasn’t the Oregon Ducks that cooked your Goose this year.

I must admit, I had San Diego beating Connecticut today. I don’t want to brag, but me and The King (not you Woody) are the only ones who predicted that game correctly. I almost wanted them to lose so it would make it more difficult for WKU to advance to the Sweet 16. This is the dedication we need in this invitational. Putting your bracket in jeopardy to make things more difficult for Cro. See the quote below:

“Cro, because he has no athletic bone in his body, assumes he knows everything about sports because he watches everything.” ~ EEB. This premise makes watching NCAA game with Cro one of the most irritating things ever.

Also I would like to comment on the Fritz Ablao bracket. Not only did he not email a proper bracket, he finds himself at the bottom looking up. It won’t last long though, hes only suffered one double nidge with Drake in the Sweet 16.

I know the rant was weak this go round. I promise the intensity will be better tomorrow after my bracket goes down the tubes. I am going to end this rant with a visual:

Eric Brooking laying on his couch. Wrapped up in a yellow UD fleece blanket. Blowing air into an empty Yuengling bottle. Uttering to himself, “God, why the hell did I pick Boise State?!”

Here are the standings after Round 1:

Pat Shields 26
BIG MIKE 26
Tom Moffa 25
Chris Fusco 25
Jenna Lawall 24
CRO 24
A.C Billz IV 24
Amanda Short 24
The Dennis 24
Ryan Fontana 24
Matt Atallian 24
D-Weeze 23
Boy Pierce 23
Sports Illustrated 23
Nico Tennant 23
Michelle Folkerts 22
King Chaz 22
Justin Romano 21
Mike Smith 21
Brandon Gravett 21
Derek Fuhrmann 20
Chris Woody 20
Adam Tatz 20
Phil Imbesi 19
Ken Zuroick 19
EEB SON 18
Fritz Abalo 16