Anyone But Cro

34 Car Pile-Up at Turn 4

2011-03-31T18:20:00.005-04:00

We've hit turn 4 and we're coming down the homestrech here. At the beginning of the race, heavyweights Cro, UJ, and BG were leading the pack with everyone chasing. After putting himself in prime position to cut Nico off on the inside, UJ blew a tire and managed to take out almost the entire field in one shot. I had 3 final four teams playing in the elite 8. All three came up short. North Carolina couldn't get past Kentucky, Florida loses to an annoying Butler team, and of course VCU shoots KU out of the gym. Of course they do.

Bill Self cant seem to figure out how to beat a "mid major" in the NCAA tourney. In 2005, Self was eliminated by Bucknell in the first round. He followed that up in 2006 with a first round defeat to Bradley. In 2010, Self was tossed by Northern Iowa in the 2nd round. More the same in 2011. VCU destroys Kansas in the Elite 8 to clinch the CAA's 2nd Final Four in 5 years. If it weren't for close wins over Davidson and Memphis in 2008, I would think the KU athletic director would be taking a hard look at Self this offseason. These results simply aren't acceptable.

After a wild weekend of 3 one seeds falling before the final four, only 5 people were able to avoid the crash at turn 4 and kick it into 5th gear. Congrats to Boy Pierce and Andrew Riexinger for being the only 2 contestants with their National Champ still standing. I would have never imagined that heading into the final 3 games, only 2 people with champs left. I commend you both for your picks.

I would also like to send congrats to Jess Everett for being the only person to have Butler correctly placed in the final four. Well done and welcome to the ABC.

However, they are not the only cars left in this race. While there is a massive wreck at turn 4, 5 drivers managed to get their swerve on and avoid the carnage. Since nobody has Butler or VCU winning anymore games, there are only 4 possible scenarios left to consider. UConn winning the title, Kentucky winning the title, UConn losing in the title game, and Kentucky losing the title game. Below are the results of those scenarios. Remember, $300 to first place, $50 to second, and $20 to third.

UConn wins National Championship

1. Boy Pierce

2. Nico Tennant

3. Shaun Askin

Kentucky wins National Championship

1. Andrew Riexinger

2. Fritz Ablao

3. Chris Fusco

UConn loses in National Championship

1. Nico Tennant

2. Shaun Askin

3. Boy Pierce

Kentucky loses in National Championship

1. Fritz Ablao vs. Andrew Riexinger in tiebreaker

2. Loser of tiebreaker

3. Chris Fusco

This sure proves to be an exciting finish to a very exciting tournament. Many many games have had close endings, and its only fitting that the ABC come down to the wire. I'm obviously pulling for Kentucky to lose to VCU in the title game. I wanna see this thing come down to the points tiebreaker. Makes for high drama.

Here are the current standings just incase you wanted to compare yourself to Cro.

Nico Tennant 85

Jess Everret 85

Andrew Riexinger 78

Fritz Ablao 78

BG 78

Brett Askin 78

Michelle Folkerts 75

Chris Fusco 72

Shaun Askin 72

Boy Pierce 71

Matt Atallian 69

Billy Wells Sr. 68

Papa Askin 66

K-Man Hoffman 66

Billy Wells Jr. 66

Kim Wells 66

Paul Lawruk 64

Kermit Hoffman 62

CRO 61

Jenna Fusco 61

Adam Cutter 61

Tom Moffa 60

Jake Hoffman 60

Rachael Weissman 58

Phil Imbesi 58

Alex "Hater" Wells 56

Dosh Willie Whye 54

PAt Shields 54

Ryan Fontana 53

EEB 53

Chris Woody 53

Kenny Zuroick 52

Dennis "The KC Kid" 52

Jennifer Streff 52

Big Mike 51

Adam Tatz 51

Yashar Toliver 49

Mike Smith 48

Justin Romano 37

Good luck to the Fab 5 who remain. You know now what you need to root for in order to take home the 2011 Anyone But Cro crown.

Keep checking back for more updates.

Vamos VCU

Standings After Thursday March 25

2011-03-25T19:11:00.002-04:00

Wanted to get these up before the Friday games. Cro lost a finalist in San Diego State and a final four team in BYU last night. He appears to out unless everything goes exactly his way from hear on out. Not likely considering he started AC with a 30 point loss and ended last weekend with a Bruce Pearl firing. 0 for 8 is the the outcome we're looking for here.

Good luck tonight.

Nico Tennant 60
Matt Atallian 59
BG 58
Papa Askin 56
K-Man Hoffman 56
Jess Everett 55
Paul Lawruk 54
Fritz Ablao 53
Brett Askin 53
Andrew Riexinger 53
Billy Wells Sr. 53
Chris Fusco 52
Shaun Askin 52
Kermit Hoffman 52
CRO 51
Jenna Fusco 51
Billy Wells Jr. 51
Kim Wells 51
Michelle Folkerts 50
Tom Moffa 50
Jake Hoffman 50
Dosh Willie Whye 49
Pat Shields 49
Rachael Weissman 48
Phil Imbesi 48
Ryan Fontana 48
EEB 48
Chris Woody 48
Kenny Zuroick 47
Dennis "The KC Kid" 47
Adam Cutter 46
Boy Pierce 46
Big Mike 46
Mike Smith 43
Jennifer Streff 42
Adam Tatz 41
Alex Wells 41
Yashar Toliver 39
Justin Romano 32

Big East Gets Caught in a HAZE

2011-03-23T18:39:00.006-04:00

Let me start this off by apologizing for taking forever and a day to get this blog posted. I know that there has been a lock of backlash through Facebook and text messages. Fact of the matter is, grading 40 brackets takes an immense amount of time and drinking for the entire first two rounds really takes its toll a blogger.

ABC participants, we have much to discuss. Let’s a take a quick glance at the standings. 2009 champ Nico Tennant is currently atop the leader board with 50 points. This is totally uncalled for. The left side of his bracket is perfect save Tennessee over Michigan and Missouri over Cincinnati. Neither Michigan nor Cincinnati advanced to the Sweet 16, so only 2 dropped points on an entire side of a bracket is pretty impressive by any standard. Your truly comes in at 2nd but will fade fast I’m afraid.

There is currently a 5 way tie for 3rd place. Fontana proclaimed his bracket to be all chalk and will lose by default. Rachael had Notre Dame as her champion, so she is not a threat whatsoever. The Fritz bracket is still dangerous despite losing a Final Four team in Pitt (more on this later). If Kentucky reaches the title game, I think Fritz guarantees himself money. Nobody else has them going anywhere near that far. EEB while looking clean in his white tee in AC, only has 2 Final Four teams left and is probably toasted. And lastly, BG brings has all of his Final Four teams and has himself in prime position to take his first ABC crown. Although, I’m terribly afraid that BG’s luck has already run its course, also more on this later.

The tourney started off with a bang at Kildare’s Irish Pub in Newark, DE. Fritz was slinging drinks all day and EEB son had joined me for a good portion of the day. Of course it was also St. Patty’s Day, so all sorts of silly business was going down. Ended up taking multiple car bombs to the face, multiple shots were tossed back and it was the perfect start to the weekend.

The next morning, I woke on EEB’s couch in an absolute haze around 5:45. Little did I know what was in store for the day formally known as March 18, 2011. From this day forward, it will be known as “Day of 6”.

The day started as EEB and I pulled up to AC at 10:30am in full gangster lean. We blared classic throwbacks the entire way there. The one that really sticks out is Special Delivery remix. Peep that on YouTube and try your best not to get amped up. We roll up to dirty Taj Mahal and eagerly anticipated the rest of our party’s arrival. Yashar arrived around 11 and we decided it would be best to head to Game On at the Pier to prepare for the second day of drinking and tournament excitement.

Cro, Rachael, and BG eventually showed up and we started crushing drinks. Purple Haze’s for the table, Malibu Bay Breeze’s for Cro, and a solid EEB nap and we were well on our way. I guess it was about 5-530 when we decided to jump ship and change locations. Cro was wasted after trying to chug his Bay Breeze in the manliest way possible. I don’t know if anyone has ever encountered such an event, but you DO NOT want to mess with a dude that just chugged a Bay Breeze. You’ll be in serious trouble. Jaeger or Jack can’t compare to the punch that coconut rum packs.
After retiring to our quarters for a quick intermission, it was finally time to venture west to the Borgata. For some reason, my secret affection for Pat Sajak was out in full force as I demanded we play Wheel of Fortune. As I sat quietly pounding the “spin” button with absolutely zero luck, I was very quickly out of cash and had to hit the ATM. I was gone for maybe 5 minutes. When I came back, I found that the person sitting to my left had won about $800 and the person to my right had won about $2000. Sweet. Surely this couldn’t be a good sign for the rest of the night.

Backtracking a little bit here. BG and company had gambled prior to their arrival at Borgata. By all estimates, the group was down about $700 or $800. The “bank error in BG’s favor” that had occurred earlier in the day had appeared to morph into the “bank error in Trump’s” favor pretty hastily. However, much to his credit BG was not to be stopped and was determined to get back on the floor. What would ensue is almost not believable.

We’re all out boozing hardcore when it was time to hit the Roulette table, playing with some serious cash. $25 minimums so you could be out $100 faster than Tennessee fired Bruce Pearl after their 30 point loss to MICHIGAN! Anyways, we find a table that is relatively quiet and has a fairly attractive dealer. Can’t remember her name exactly, but she somewhat resembled Beyonce. What is the booze that had this effect? Probably, but just roll with it.

BG was literally the only person playing at one point in time. Mind you, this kid is completely trashed at this point. I know for a fact he had at least 3 Purple Haze’s, multiple Captain and Cokes, a shot of jaeger, a Sake bomb, more Purple Haze’s, a shot of Jack. Not to mention all the drinks I wasn’t present for. He’s dabbling on the outside of the table, losing $25 at a time. Whatever, he’s having fun. He decides to try his luck on the inside of the table by tossing a $5 on 6. Beyonce quickly corrects his mistake and instructs him that you have to play $25 on the inside too. I thought to myself “Oh, he’ll just take it off the table, no big.” BG slaps his nuts on the table, tosses another $20 on top of the 6, and Beyonce gives him a cute smile as to say “This jackass just doesn’t get it.” So as all the bets are now at the proper amounts, Beyonce gives the wheel a spin. As the ball begins to settle on the wheel, I glance at Cro. His eyes go from the “OMG I’m shitcanned and need sleep” look to “OMG IT’S A 6”. He screams at the top of his lungs “HE’S DONE IT!!!!! IT’S A SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!” BG had just won $875 on a drunken $25 bet on the number 6. You have got to be kidding me. Any natural reaction should be happiness, but I’m sure the look on my face was pure disgust. I’ve been playing Roulette for a while and I have never seen anything like it. I’m still not over it I think. While the dinner and 3 bottles of wine he all bought us at 3am helped, I don’t think I can ever gamble again. I’m extremely jealous, but I’m throwing out your bracket BG, as I can’t let you win this too.

OK, back to a little basketball news. Multiple people lost their national champion this past weekend. Pretty good weekend when 20% of the entries lose their title winner. Sorry about your luck to the following goons, but no sympathy here. You can remove these names from threatening the ABC crown. Barkley said it best; you can put all your chips on a team from the Little Bitty East.

Pittsburgh Panthers
Dennis “The KC Kid”
Jenna Fusco
Billy Wells Jr

Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Rachael Weissman
Papa Askin
Jennifer Streff
Jake Hoffman
Alex Wells

We also need to discuss finances for this bracket challenge. There are 39 entries this year. Almost as much as last year’s record setting 43. But with the 4 play in games, on Tuesday and Wednesday, just about everyone had their brackets in by Tuesday night. Very impressive work by the ABC contestants.

With the pot being $390 this year, I’m suggesting $320 to the winner, $50 to runner up, and $20 to the bronze medalist. If you haven’t paid yet, please do so as soon as possible. I have the following degenerates as not being paid yet.

Nico Tennant
Fritz Ablao
All 3 Hoffmans
Jessica Everett
Michelle Folkerts
Both Fuscos
A.B. Tatz

If any of this is incorrect let me know.

Also, just a quick reminder for the points for the remaining rounds.

Elite 8 Team – 5 points
Final Four Team – 10 points
Finalist – 15 points
National Champ – 25 points

Good luck this weekend. I will have standings posted at the completion of the Thursday and Friday night games. I can’t make any promises about Saturday as I have Union home opener followed by the Lil Wayne tour Saturday night.

Let’s go VCU and down with CRO.

UJ

Standings After 3rd Round

2011-03-20T23:57:00.002-04:00

Mega blog still not completed ... Wanted to hit you with standings at least. Blog with full weekend recap and commentary to be posted tomorrow.

Nico Tennant 50
Matt Atallian 49
Ryan Fontana 48
Rachael Weissman 48
Fritz Ablao 48
EEB 48
BG 48
Papa Askin 46
K-Man Hoffman 46
Kim Wells 46
CRO 46
Big Mike 46
Jess Everett 45
Michelle Folkerts 45
Paul Lawruk 44
Pat Shields 44
Dosh Willie Whye 44
Phil Imbesi 43
Chris Woody 43
Brett Askin 43
Billy Wells Sr. 43
Andrew Riexinger 43
Shaun Askin 42
Kermit Hoffman 42
Kenny Zuroick 42
Jennifer Streff 42
Dennis "The KC Kid" 42
Chris Fusco 42
Jenna Fusco 41
Billy Wells Jr. 41
Adam Tatz 41
Adam Cutter 41
Tom Moffa 40
Jake Hoffman 40
Yashar Toliver 39
Mike Smith 38
Boy Pierce 38
Alex Wells 36
Justin Romano 32

You Can't Spell Suck Without USC

2011-03-17T00:01:00.004-04:00

Not much too blog about quite yet ... Glad to see VCU proved they belong. Eat your heart out, Jay Bilas.

I hope everyone is ready for the next four days, as it promises to be a very exciting tournament. The blog will start in Newark, DE on Thursday to be with perennial challenger EEB, before making our way to Atlantic City, NJ on Friday. Current leader BG will be present. Nothing excites me more than the promise of BG, bball, and gambling. Blog may reach new heights that night. Keep checking back for updates. Standings after the "truTV Four" are below.

BG 4

Kim Wells 4

K-Man Hoffman 4

Matt Atallian 4

Nico Tennant 4

Boy Pierce 3

Chris Fusco 3

Chris Woody 3

CRO 3

Dennis "The KC Kid" 3

EEB 3

Jennifer Streff 3

Papa Askin 3

Paul Lawruk 3

Rachael Weissman 3

Tom Moffa 3

Adam Tatz 2

Big Mike 2

Billy Wells Sr. 2

Dosh Willie Whye 2

Jake Hoffman 2

Jenna Fusco 2

Uncle Kermit 2

Pat Shields 2

Phil Imbesi 2

Ryan Fontana 2

Andrew Riexinger 1

Billy Wells Jr. 1

Brett Askin 1

Kenny Zuroick 1

Mike Smith 1

Shaun Askin 1

Yashar Toliver 1

Alex Wells 0

Jess Everett 0

Michelle Folkerts 0

8th Annual Anyone But Cro Invitational Arrives

2011-03-13T22:53:00.005-04:00

The 2011 edition of the Anyone But Cro Invitational arrived today with much anticipation. The unveiling of the brand new 68-team bracket caused much disturbance in Bristol, CT. There were so many bad teams this year, that the waters were muddied as to who actually deserved to be in . The waters were so murky some how the CAA was a 3 bid league. The outrage was palpable. Jay Bilas was seen blowing a fuse on set, Gottlieb was called in last minute as back up, and Dicky V was so upset that he proclaimed his wife doesn't know "DIDDILLY!!" and knew more about college basketball than the committee. I've never seen such backlash over a bracket in my entire life.

Who would have ever thought that a Colorado or yet another VT snub would offend so many people? The problem with this system is that is supposed to be a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" type of arrangement, and when the little guy gets acknowledged for their "body fo work" its an outrage. VCU beat quality opponents on the road, went to the title game of a Top 10 RPI conference, and deserves to be in. Nothing more needs to be said. Look at Barkley's beed with the Big East. If its such a good conference, how can a team win 5 games in 5 days? Makes you wonder.

Anyways, down to business. This years ABC will work a little differently than years past. With the addition of 3 more "1st Round" games, the committee has forced my hand. The play in game used to be irrelevant. Win and you got blown out by a 1 seed 3 days later. Now, some of these teams may actually win 2 or 3 games on the opening week. Because of this change, brackets are now due at 630 PM TUESDAY NIGHT.

In the event that I do not receive your bracket before this deadline, do not be totally alarmed. I will still accept brackets up until NOON THURSDAY, but you will forfeit all points from the 1st Round games that were played prior to your entry. If you dont think a couple of points matters, than dont worry about it. Just be aware that you could be losing before it starts, and that a team that wins Tuesday or Wednesday could make a deep run and cost you even more.

Point system and buy in remains the same also. Link to bracket and PayPal are to the right.

Blog will also have a new format this weekend, so be on the lookout for some amazing material.

Good luck with the bracket, and Happy Cro Hunting.

Let's make him 0 for 8.

Biggest Cro Hater of All,
Matt "UJ" Atallian

Standings After Second Weekend

2010-03-28T21:41:00.002-04:00

Hey Everyone ... I just wanted to get these standings up tonight, as well as the Final Four scenarios incase the curiosity was killing you. I'll have a blog posted tomorrow night to inform you on what went down this past weekend, it certainly wont disappoint.

Jake Hoffman 82
Wells Family 81
Drew Smith 75
Aunt Alyson 75
Phil Imbesi 74
BG 74
Mel Smith 74
Chris Fusco 73
Chris Woody 71
Big Mike 71
Adam Tatz 70
Jenna Lawall 70
Shaun Askin 68
Uncle Kermit 68
Kenny Zuroick 67
Boy Pierce 66
Pat Shields 66
Andrea Koontz 65
Cro 65
Rocco Toulon 64
Michelle Folkerts 64
Fritz Ablao 64
Zak Tseytlin 63
Sam Woody 61
Paul Lawruk 61
Ryan Fontana 61
Dosh Whye 59
Rachael Weissman 59
EEB 58
Matt Atallian 57
Little Kermit 57
The Dennis 56
Tom Moffa 56
Nico Tennant 54
Jay Lenzini 53
Adam Cutter 53
Andrew Riexinger 53
Paul Yerkes 52
Yahsar Toliver 52
Michael J 46
Mike Smith 45
Justin Romano 31

West Virginia Wins National Championship
1st Place: Chris Woody
2nd Place: Wells Family
3rd Place: Aunt Alyson

Duke Wins National Championship
1st Place: Boy Pierce
2nd Place: Jake Hoffman
3rd Place: Drew Smith

West Virginia Loses in National Championship Game
1st Place: Wells Family
2nd Place: Aunt Alyson
3rd Place: Phil Imbesi vs. BG in a tiebreaker

Duke Loses in National Championship Game
1st Place: Jake Hoffman
2nd Place: Drew Smith
3rd Place: Wells Family vs. Boy Pierce in a tiebreaker

I'll catch up with everyone tomorrow. Be sure to come back and read the post!!!

Matt

No, You Didn't Forget to Write "State" After Your National Champion

2010-03-21T22:09:00.007-04:00

Wow. Wow. Wow. Just wow. This NCAA tournament has just left me speechless. When the brackets came out, I felt that there would be a lot of upsets, but I didn’t expect it to quite this degree. It has left people missing multiple Final 4 teams, National Runners-Up, and in 25 (25!!!!!) of our 42 entries, without a National Champion. Included in these 25 people are myself and the much opposed Cro. While most people find themselves in emotional distress trying to figure out what happened to Kansas, they can take solace in the fact that Cro took Kansas too. The Kansas loss has me questioning my purpose in life. Why do I put this much interest into sports? Why do I care? It’s completely out of my control. I don’t understand how some one can watch a game and not care about its outcome. It’s just not programmed into my brain. I care way too much about the outcome just about every stupid game I watch. Are the players upset after they lose? Probably. But in the case of pro athletes, they heal quickly because they still make mega-millions after a loss. That’s what makes the NCAA tournament so special. After heartbreaking losses, you see it on the faces on the players. Pro sports are often too expensive for me to attend in person. And if it’s reasonably priced, it’s because the team is terrible and they can’t give the tickets away. They charge me $20 to park my stupid car when a victory isn’t guaranteed. I’ve been to one Eagles game in the past 10 years. Why would I spend $100+ for a ticket and $30 in food and drinks when I may very well leave upset? Why don’t I invest my time and interest in something I know can’t possibly make me feel this way? Why don’t I just collect stamps or something? I don’t know. So many questions and no answers. I hate sports. I don’t know what’s worse; your team losing or hated team winning? What if your team is eliminated by a hated team? It’s even worse when you know people that are fans of the hated team. It makes my blood boil. Sports are not healthy for the passionate fan. It almost always ends in heartache, save the 2008 Phillies. It always ends in frustration, embarrassment (2009 Eagles), and in some cases anger. It isn’t always this way for sports fans though. Some fan bases are treated to multiple championships, or championships reasonably close to each other. The tournament is without a doubt my favorite sporting event of the year, but it has really turned its back on me this go-round.

The tournament started out with such great promise. A handful of us had gathered at Chickie’s and Pete’s in South Philly to take advantage of nice weather and all-can-eat/drink specials. The first series of games brought much excitement. An undeserving 6-seed in Notre Dame lost to the Colonial champ Old Dominion. Cro’s Final Four team from the West, BYU, was pushed to double OT by Florida. Villanova was pushed to OT by Robert Morris. Murray State took out 4-seeded Vanderbilt on a buzzer beater. You couldn’t ask for a better start. It proved to be only a small sampling of things to come.

Cro’s arch-enemy EEB took the Anyone But Cro premise to new heights this year. He contacted the commissioner to verify Cro’s picks after submitting his bracket. Once he found out that certain match ups were different, he immediately went to work. We all knew Cro would roll up in some sort of rowdy Tennessee gear since that’s his team, so the San Diego State game was an easy target. Cro shows up in a bright orange “BRUUUUCE” T-shirt and some sort of Vols toupee. EEB rolled up in a customized SDSU t-shirt to blow up Cro’s spot. Cro would getter the better of EEB in this matchup, but EEB would get his revenge a lot sooner than he could have hoped for.

The first round of games came and went, with Cro being near the top of the standings, as per usual. He was running his yap about how great of shape he is in. Same story, different year as we all know. Then the unthinkable happens. Kansas loses to Northern Iowa and all of sudden Cro is vulnerable to all competitors. If you pick the national champion correctly, you are awarded 58 points. In this instance, by picking Kansas as his national champ, Cro dropped 57 points and now has to rely exclusively on his BYU run to the Final Four as well as his Gonzaga upset of Syracuse in Buffalo on Sunday. Cro was sending text messages saying things along the line of “a BYU win has Cro in great shape”. Needless to say, this angered me.

Immediately after the Kansas loss, I ventured to Kildare’s with EEB and Yashar to cry in some beer. I was inconsolable and had to deal with it on my terms. I drove to the bar in complete silence. I didn’t want to hear any music, I just wanted to let it soak in and get it over the only way I knew how; by rooting against everyone else. If I was miserable, everyone else had to miserable too. What I saw when I came inside immediately brightened my mood. There was EEB, still embracing the ABC cause to the fullest, in his custom made K-State shirt. He knew that a K-State win here would undoubtedly make Cro a loser for the 7th consecutive year. Sure enough, K-State would pull out the win and Cro had lost a National Champ and a Final 4 team in a matter of hours. I believe EEB’s next move is to hook up with Wedding Crashers John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey in their non-profit operation “Holy Shirts and Pants”.

Earlier this afternoon, a blowout Gonzaga loss to Syracuse sealed Cro’s fate for good. People have been asking the same question a lot this year. What happens if Cro wins? There are a couple of answers of that. #1 Cro won’t ever win. #2 If Cro wins, the ABC will shutdown and all operations will cease to exist. Since Cro will not be taking any title this year, the ABC will return in 2011 for the 8th installment.

Below are the standings. Please do not be fooled by these. While I may be in second place, I lost my national champ in Kansas and my South winner, Texas A&M this weekend. I have zero chance of winning, but it won’t be reflected in the standings until the next 2 rounds of games have been played. I am a threat to no one.

Aunt Alyson 45
Matt Atallian 42
Jake Hoffman 42
Sam Woody 41
Wells Family 41
Pat Shields 41
The Dennis 41
Adam Tatz 40
Cro 40
Jenna Lawall 40
Mel Smith 39
Rachael Weissman 39
Phil Imbesi 39
BG 39
Rocco Toulon 39
Adam Cutter 38
Jay Lenzini 38
Chris Fusco 38
EEB 38
Shaun Askin 38
Uncle Kermit 38
Zak Tseytlin 38
Kenny Zuroick 37
Yahsar Toliver 37
Little Kermit 37
Paul Yerkes 37
Big Mike 36
Paul Lawruk 36
Chris Woody 36
Ryan Fontana 36
Boy Pierce 36
Tom Moffa 36
Michael J 36
Mike Smith 35
Drew Smith 35
Andrea Koontz 35
Michelle Folkerts 34
Dosh Whye 34
Nico Tennant 34
Fritz Ablao 34
Andrew Riexinger 33
Justin Romano 31

Just a reminder, if you haven’t paid me for the bracket yet, please try to do so as soon as possible. It’s very important that we get all the funds in so the winners can collect in a timely manner. I know if you have KU winning (or Villanova, hahaha Andrew) and haven’t paid yet, you’ll have little desire to pay since you’re more than likely eliminated already.

Good luck to everyone in the coming rounds. I’ll have a completed list of remaining bracketeers by the end of next weekend. Games being again on Thursday night.

Thanks for reading, Matt.

P.S. – I don’t hate sports.

Standings After Round 1

2010-03-20T01:15:00.003-04:00

Hey Guys .... First off, I wanted to congraulate everyone on being part of history. Last year, we set a record of 28 brackets. We totally blew that mark out of the water. We have a total of 42 entries this year. A truly unbelieveable turnout, so thanks to everyone!!

Here are the standings after the First Round .... Blog post will follow soon:

Aunt Alyson 25
Cro 24
Matt Atallian 24
Jay Lenzini 24
Jake Hoffman 24
Sam Woody 23
Phil Imbesi 23
Pat Shields 23
Mel Smith 23
BG 23
The Dennis 23
Rachael Weissman 23
Wells Family 23
EEB 22
Big Mike 22
Zak Tseytlin 22
Boy Pierce 22
Adam Tatz 22
Chris Fusco 22
Jenna Lawall 22
Adam Cutter 22
Michelle Folkerts 22
Mike Smith 21
Drew Smith 21
Andrea Koontz 21
Andrew Riexinger 21
Kenny Zuroick 21
Paul Yerkes 21
Yahsar Toliver 21
Rocco Toulon 21
Little Kermit 21
Dosh Whye 20
Paul Lawruk 20
Tom Moffa 20
Shaun Askin 20
Michael J 20
Uncle Kermit 20
Chris Woody 20
Nico Tennant 20
Ryan Fontana 20
Fritz Ablao 18
Justin Romano 17

Seventh Annual ABC Tourney Upon Us

2010-03-14T20:34:00.004-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to the best NCAA Bracket Challenge in the entire country, the Anyone But Cro Invitational. It’s been a year since we last embarked on this epic journey, but the goal remains the same: To not let Cro win. He’s gone 0 for everything, we’re 6 for 6.

I do want to make it known that I’ve been hearing the most pre-tournament smack talk from Cro since 2005 when dark horse Chris Streyle took the crown. It’s been non-stop since about mid-January. He tells me over and over that this is his year, that there isn’t any way he can be stopped. He’s compiled an obnoxious spreadsheet that details 8 years of historical data, claiming to have it all figured out. The noise coming from Cro has literally been deafening for the past 3 weeks. He’s been on my ass everyday telling me the blog needs updating, and of course reminding me that he’s going to win. Thankfully, the time has come for him to put up and shut up. It’s been a brutal stretch.

There was one brief moment of rational thinking from Cro this year however. He conceded that beating EEB is a close, close second to winning the ABC crown. This puts extra pressure on the EEB bracket this year, since we all know winning the title is unattainable.

You’ll notice a link the Official 2010 Bracket on the right side of the page. To get a copy, simply click the link and it will take you to a Google Docs page. Click on the download link, hit open, and voila, breakfast!! Fill it out and send it to matt.atallian@gmail.com. I’ll send you a confirmation e-mail shortly after receiving your bracket.

Please have this filled out and e-mailed back to me no later than 12 NOON on Thursday March 18. The first games tip-off at 12:20 eastern time, and we certainly do not want to compromise the integrity of this prestigious competition.

Entry free still remains $10.00 per person. I’ll accept cash entries as well as PayPal payments which can also be found on the right side of the screen. Payouts will be determined once we have a final bracket count. Last year we had a record 30 brackets (20 of which were real). Sports Illustrated has been a staple in the ABC for years, and if Obama has time to fill out a bracket this year, we’ll be happy to have him back. The ABC has grown every single year and we hope this year will continue the trend. As always, please refer anyone you know that may be interested.

Scoring will be as follows, for a maximum of 199 points.

1st Round - 1 Point

2nd Round - 2 Points

Sweet 16 - 5 points

Elite 8 - 10 points

Final 4 - 15 points

Champion - 25 points

The bracket is really wide open this year. Any team can lose on any given night, as there truly isn’t a clear cut, hands down favorite to win this year. I wish everyone best of luck and let’s make this year a year we’ll never forget. Any questions, please feel free to send me an e-mail or Facebook message.

Matt

The Final Recap

2009-04-08T19:22:00.003-04:00

We lost to this guy. Embarassing.

Thank God it’s over. The Tyler Hansbrough era in college basketball has finally ended. Four years of commentators and media hyping this guy as the greatest college basketball player ever to play to the game. You have to listen to it no more! Now we can laugh when he gets posterized in the Association by the Big Cactus Shaq-Fu.

I don’t want to hear a word from you Carolina supporters. The Villanova game was decided in the first 6 seconds. There was no need to even watch. North Carolina some how won the tip, gained control of the ball, made their way down the court, got the ball to Hansbrough, and Psycho T was fouled while in shooting motion all in 6 seconds. There’s 19:54 left in the first half and this clown is shooting 2 shots. It was obvious at that point how the game was going to play out. The NCAA wasn’t letting their best player in history leave without a championship. Good riddance.

Anyways, the standings will reflect all of those who had UNC winning. Ten of the top 11 had UNC. The only one that didn’t was EEB, who had Ville going all the way. Congrats for being the best non-UNC bracket this year.

While we may have defeated Cro rather easily this year, we do have reason to be ashamed. We lost to Nico T. This guy is a minor league mascot for crying out loud. He dresses up as a stupid bull. The only reason he picked UNC is because he lives there. I guarantee you that if he takes in a job in say, Kentucky, he’ll have them winning. It’s a fluke. He says living in North Carolina has taught him a lot about college bball. Big False. It taught him how to hype the ACC and Carolina schools. You got lucky this time. I’ll consider you a legit champion if you can win the pool again.

We had our first ever tiebreaker come into affect this year. Third place came down to Mike Smith and Jake Hoffman. Both had UNC winnings. Both have 138 points. The tiebreakers were even close, only separated by 4 points! Here’s how it broke down:

North Carolina 89
Michigan State 72
Total 161

Mike Smith 105
Jake Hoffman 109

Jake Hoffman has taken Mike Smith for third! This is great news! Nobody wanted to see Mike Smith in the money. And I recently found out that Jake is in elementary school, which makes this victory even sweeter. The pool was topped by a mascot, Boy Pierce, and a kindygartner. Amazing stuff.

Here are the final standings:

Nico T 154
Boy Pierce 140
Jake Hoffman 138
Mike Smith 138
Fritz Ablao 129
Chris Woody 128
Tom Moffa 123
President Obama 122
Brandon Gravett 119
Drew Smith 118
EEB 109
Michelle Folkerts 108
Phil Imbesi 104
Jenna Lawall 101
Chris Fusco 101
Big Mike 99
Shaun Askin 87
Uncle Kermit 87
Tony K 86
Sports Illustrated 85
Adam Tatz 84
Little Kermit 83
Mike Lambros 82
Dosh Whye 81
Mike Y 81
Pat Shields 80
Matt Atallian 80
CRO 79
The Dennis 61
Justin Romano 51

I want to thank everyone for making this tournament a tremendous success. We definitely can’t do it without you. Take the summer off, but can you better believe Cro will be studying up on his basketball in the Fall in an attempt to avoid going 0 for 7. We can only hope.

Enjoy baseball season. No Yankees. No Mets. No Red Sox.

Go Phils

Matt

Standings after Elite 8

2009-03-29T22:12:00.005-04:00

Potential Champ as seen on "Random Shot Monday"

I believe that's some sort of chocolate.

Well the Final Four has been set. I can’t say the same for this year’s ABC Invitational; there are only two people left standing. I’ll get into that a little bit later on. Earlier today, the number one overall seed in the tournament, Louisville, soiled themselves against Michigan State. For those of you who had Ville winning the title, you should have known better. Winning the conference tournament before the Big Dance is almost an automatic kiss of death. That’s not to say that a conference winning team can’t make the Final Four, but winning two tournaments in 4 weeks is a very tall order. There is so much that has to go right for a team to accomplish that feat. There are 3 conferences being represented in this year’s Final Four.

Big Ten – Michigan State
Big Ten Tournament Champ – Purdue

ACC – North Carolina
ACC Tournament Champ – Duke

Big East – Connecticut, Villanova
Big East Tournament Champ – Louisville

I don’t believe that we’ve discussed the payout amounts at this point. This year we have a total of 28 entries. The payout is going to work as follows:

1st Place - $220.00
2nd Place - $50.00
3rd Place - $10.00

Since the Atallian’s wont be taking home any money this year, I’ll get in contact with the winners at the completion of the tournament to figure out how you want to co-ordinate the exchange.

Here are the standings following the completion of the Elite 8:

Nico T 114
Jenna Lawall 101
Boy Pierce 100
Big Mike 99
Mike Smith 98
Jake Hoffman 98
EEB 94
Fritz Ablao 89
Phil Imbesi 89
Chris Woody 88
Shaun Askin 87
Uncle Kermit 87
Chris Fusco 86
Tony K 86
Sports Illustrated 85
Adam Tatz 84
Tom Moffa 83
Little Kermit 83
President Obama 82
Mike Lambros 82
Dosh Whye 81
Mike Y 81
Pat Shields 80
Matt Atallian 80
Brandon Gravett 79
Drew Smith 78
Michelle Folkerts 68
CRO 64
The Dennis 61
Justin Romano 51

Nico again finds himself a top the leader board. He virtually has this year’s invitational locked up. Here are the remaining 8 scenarios in the National Title Game and the resulting winners. You’ll see what I mean when I say Nico is almost unbeatable.

UConn beats UNC
1st - Nico
2nd - Mike Smith
3rd - Pat Shields

UConn beats Villanova
1st - Pat Shields
2nd - Nico
3rd - Mike Smith

Michigan State beats UNC
1st - Nico
2nd - Boy Pierce
3rd - Mike Smith/Jake Hoffman (tiebreaker)

Michigan State beats Villanova
1st - Nico
2nd - Jenna
3rd - Boy Pierce

Villanova beats UConn
1st - Nico
2nd - Mike Smith
3rd - Jenna/Tony K (tiebreaker)

Villanova beats Michigan State
1st - Nico
2nd - Jenna
3rd - Boy Pierce

UNC beats UConn
1st - Nico
2nd - Mike Smith
3rd - Boy Pierce

UNC beats Michigan State
1st - Nico
2nd - Boy Pierce
3rd - Mike Smith/Jake Hoffman (tiebreaker)

So basically, if UConn doesn’t beat Villanova in the Final, Nico wins. I hate this. Last years tournament had 4 people left at this juncture. The fact that nobody had the Final Four correct this year combined with 20 of 28 people have Pitt or UNC winning means that there is limited movement in the standings. The following people have been eliminated as of today.

Mike Lambros – eliminated by All Big East Final 4 – Finally, one of Dennis’ boys goes down. Your South bracket was going so well until you decided Gonzaga was gong to beat UNC and Syracuse was going to beat OU. Questionable calls. I saw a stat that Gonzaga had the 5th most wins without a Final Four appearance. #1? Dosh’s Boston College. Thanks for your entry and keep Dennis in check.

Tony K – eliminated by Pitt – You needed your bracket to go perfect from the Elite 8 on to have a shot at winning this bad boy. Unfortunately, Scottie Reynolds sealed your fate with a game winning lay-up with .5 seconds to go. I have to admit I was partially rooting for Pitt in this game. It always hurts to see your champ go down. Better luck next year Tony Head-of-Cabbage.

Chris Fusco – eliminated by EEB until Louisville lost – Oh yes. This was needed. Every year, you and Jenna have the same picks except for maybe 1 or 2. I think you copy off her. You know she doesn’t know what she’s doing and you roll with it because those people almost always win. I’m also glad you had Louisville winning. No Giants/Yankees fan should be allowed to win this tournament. I will say this; we need a Jews vs. Gents reunion as soon as possible. Please co-ordinate and get back to me. I hate Cutter.

Fritz Ableeblee – eliminated by Nico – Chalk up another loss for Fritz. I want to commend you for your efforts and for charging a pizza to Shaun’s room in Philly last weekend. Maybe one of the funniest things I’ve seen this year. He completely deserved that for bailing on the bar. Let me know when Timothy’s has the mechanical bull again. I’m trying to see Cro get thrown off.

EEB – eliminated by Goran Suton – This probably is the next best thing to Cro not winning. Have EEB as champion would be absolutely insufferable. Especially if Louisville would have won. You were all over T-Will’s junk that you came close to ruining him for me. I know you’re glad you beat Cro, but I am glad you didn’t win the title. I couldn’t take an entire off season of listening to EEB run his mouth. You know what they say when teams professional teams are eliminated from playoffs? Time to work on the golf game. Preferably outside. Golf clubs and chandeliers aren’t friends.

Jake Hoffman – eliminated by Nico – the last of the Hoffman’s has been eliminated! For a second there, I really thought we had another family conspiracy on our hands until I saw Little Kermit had Duke winning. You can take pride in knowing that you beat Chris, your Dad, and your brother. Family bragging rights are important. I have to listen to my brother all year, and I’m not too please about it. Thanks for entering. Hope to see you back next year.

Big Mike – eliminated by Scottie Reynolds – You also needed your bracket to go perfect from the Elite 8 forward to win. Unfortunately, Pitt losing eliminated you. To make matters worse, you were the only person in the field with Michigan State in the Final Four. Mad props for picking that one correctly. Also congrats on beating me and Dennis this year. The family belt belongs to you this year. Don’t worry; I’ll be back next year to claim what’s mine. I’m already removing Dennis from contention. See you downstairs Clown.

Jenna Lawall – eliminated by Pittsburgh – Once again the time has come to rip Jenna on the blog. Being afraid to pick any upsets this year has cost you. While you can still come in second in a few scenarios, you can’t take home the big prize. Your bracket had a grand total of 9 lower seeds winning in 63 games. Your biggest upset was 10 beating a 7 in the first round. Your final four consisted of all 1 seeds. While you may be high in the rankings, you don’t deserve to win if you let the NCAA committee pick your bracket. It wouldn’t be fair to have the ABC Champ win with such chalk picks. Maybe pick an upset or two next year.

This concludes the Elite 8. It’s almost a wrap that Nico will win, but I am making it clear that I am rooting for Shields to pull off the upset. I want this Final Four to be interesting, so go UConn and go Nova.

See you all next weekend.

Matt

Standings after Sweet 16

2009-03-28T01:42:00.002-04:00

Hello ABC Contestants. It has been a while since we last spoke. Much has transpired over the past 2 days, making this the most successful Anyone But Cro Invitational in history. Never before has Cro fallen so hard and so fast. I want to apologize for the lack of posts recently. After my 5 day bender which took me up and down New Castle County, my immune system decided it was going to shut down and leave me bed ridden until Thursday. Not really, but I have felt awful all week. And breathing pretty much isn’t an option at this point.

I was attending a Bloc Party concert on Saturday night with follow ABCers Shaun and Fritz, and Cro Himself, when I could feel my body beginning to shut down. I think the boat race in which I came in dead last pretty much sealed my fate. I thought I chugged that adult beverage pretty quickly, but when I had finished everyone was staring at me. Joke’s on me I guess. Anyways, we enjoyed a very good show, and headed to McFadden’s for some post concert drinks. Shaun took a sip of one beer and decided he would rather have a threesome with two cheesesteaks in his hotel room then stick out the remainder of the night. He gracefully left the posse. Only Cro, Fritz and I remained. Fritz decided shots of Grand Marnier were the appropriate way to start the…. “post-gaming” I guess it would be called. I knew it was a terrible idea. I had been drinking since Thursday morning. I was tired. I missed my bed. So of course I took the shot after some arm twisting. As I was trying not to regurgitate all over the bar, some girl approached me and told me her friend thought I was cute. Don’t know how that possible at that juncture since I was soaked in sweat and looked like I was about to get sick. We got to talking, did some dancing, and exchanged phone numbers. Were these girls grade A? Not even close. By that point, I was willing to swallow my pride and just have some fun. I would rather do a little dancing with some girls then stand around in a circle of guys and talk about the same thing we’d been talking about for 3 days at the point. Even if the girls are the hottest in the bar. I stand by the decision. Question it all you want. Fritz played the role of wing man. One of the best I’ve ever had. I congratulate you on your efforts sir. Meanwhile, Cro watching from a distance, as he clearly disapproved of the girls that had selected us as their dancing partners. When we got back to the hotel room, an intoxicated Cro attempted to have a serious conversation with me. The following dialogue ensued:

Cro: “Unk, I want to tell you something, and I don’t want you to take it personally.”

Me: “OK, Cro. Sure what is it? Anything for you Cro.”

Cro: “Next time you go out, how bout you show a little discretion?”

Me: “Interesting you should say that Cro”

Cro: “zzzzz” (Passed out face down on the bed. Shoes still on. No Sharpie in sight. Helplessness overwhelms me, and I go to sleep also).

As you all know, Cro has Memphis winning the tournament this year. He claims he had his champ picked out for about a month at this point. And I’m sure you all know that Memphis lost. So with that, Cro is officially eliminated. We have ONCE AGAIN prevailed in making sure that Cro is not victorious. We have gone a perfect 6 for 6, and can carry on the tradition for another year.

On another note, we have some new leaders in this year’s tournament. Check out the standings below. I will comment on the eliminated people after the standings. If you’re name is mentioned, you cannot finish in 1st place. This does not mean you can’t place.

Here are the standings after the Sweet 16:

Nico T 84
Jenna Lawall 81
Big Mike 79
Fritz Ablao 79
Jake Hoffman 78
Chris Woody 78
Shaun Askin 77
Uncle Kermit 77
Tony K 76
Chris Fusco 76
Adam Tatz 74
EEB 74
Tom Moffa 73
Little Kermit 73
Mike Lambros 72
President Obama 72
Mike Y 71
Matt Atallian 70
Pat Shields 70
Boy Pierce 70
Phil Imbesi 69
Brandon Gravett 69
Mike Smith 68
Sports Illustrated 65
Dosh Whye 61
The Dennis 61
Michelle Folkerts 58
Drew Smith 58
CRO 54
Justin Romano 51

I cannot believe the top 3 standings. How is Nico in sole possession of first place? I knew he’s reading this right now screaming “YESS!!!” and doing a little happy dance in his bedroom. I’m willing to bet my right arm that his laptop is running on AC power and is currently sitting at the foot of his bed. He is laying in his bed with no shirt on and green pajama pants. He is also wrapped up in some sort of University of Delaware blanket of comforter. I’m also willing to bet that he’s wearing UD slippers because his feet are cold. Just a shot in the dark. I could be wrong.

I’m also dismayed at Jenna having sole possession of 2nd place. I’ve talked so many smacks on her in prior years that she only picks favorites to win now. Can’t really knock her though. It’s paid off the last couple years. She used to be the laughing stock of the ABC. Looks like Cro has assumed that role this year.

While it’s embarrassing to be losing to both of those people, I can’t say I’m upset about it. Both of those ABCers have been in this for many years, and both could use some financial rewards. Good luck this weekend.

OK, here are the people that are officially eliminated and cannot place in first. I’m going to start from the bottom of the standings and work my way up.

Justin Romano – eliminated by putting Washington in the Finals – This is more like it! Last year’s Romano bracket wasn’t the same. Way too good. Thanks for delivering the goods again this year. I know your only goal is to defeat my brother, but it looks like he has another notch in his belt. Also, I know you’re mourning the Kansas loss tonight. Just know that I have shed a few tears myself.

CRO – eliminated by “Cro’s Boys and the Big 10” – Cro I still don’t understand your bracket or your NCAA advice given this year. You tell me to pick with your brain, not with your heart. You claim that Tennessee was a heart pick last year and that’s why you lost. Well filling out your bracket and saying this year is all about “Cro’s Boys” leads me to believe you picked with your heart again. When are you going to learn? You also had hatred for Big 10 basketball this year, yet had 2 of them going to the Elite 8. Neither of them were Michigan State. Not sure what you were thinking, but it back fired. Have fun listening to EEB tell you he kicked your ass until next March.

Drew Smith – eliminated by Nico – you still owe me $10, so you don’t get to be commented on.

Michelle Folkerts – eliminated by Nico – Another bottom tier showing! I think you pick UNC every year too. Can’t argue with consistency, but something’s gotta change. Your bracket is like the New York Yankees. You think it’s going to win every year, but you underachieve and come up with some lame excuse about why you lost. Side Note: Keep going to NYG/Eagles games. The Birds always win when you go. Thanks.

The Dennis – eliminated by stabbing KU in the back – One of only 2 hand written brackets this year and boy did it expose you. After what KU did for you and this family last year, you had the nerve to pencil in KU in the Elite 8 and then cross them out. Not for somebody that could actually beat them like Michigan State, but for Boston College. How could you?! That’s the thanks KU gets?! I’m still in disbelief. Type your bracket next year to avoid this mess.

Dosh Whye – eliminated by Jenna – I think you’re on to something with sweetening Bud Heavy with Splenda. A low calorie sweetener means you gotta cut corners somewhere. BC was also your down fall. In the Final 4? You had a death wish filling the bracket out this year. I suppose you have B.J. Raji going #1 in next month’s NFL draft too right? Good luck with that, Fool.

Mike Smith – eliminated by Nico – I know this has got to be sweet for Nico. For some reason, all he wants to do every year is make sure he beats you in the ABC. I don’t know if you looked at him funny or what, but you better apologize. You still have your Final 4 in tact which is respectable, but BC and WVU sealed your fate last week. Thanks for entering.

Brandon Gravett – eliminated by Nico – It was hilarious to see you decked out in Ohio State gear last weekend for the Siena game. I had no idea Kate’s was so pro Siena, or else I would have been there more often. Definitely the toughest loss in the 1st round, and you handled it well. Literally everyone in the bar was cheering against you. And thanks funny to me. Thanks for turning me on to the Purple Haze; however the hangover it produced immediately turned me off. Nice work on topping Cro too.

Phil Imbesi – eliminated by EEB – Still have yet to meet you. Sorry I didn’t get back to your e-mail request this week. Illness left me not wanting to mess with a computer after using one for 9 hours a day at work. I love that your bracket was big on the Pac 10 this year. I told Cro that I was pulling for the Imbesi bracket. He told me that I “didn’t want that.” He said “Phil is a huge nerd. He’s like 6’4””. That’s some messed up smack talk Cro. You’re a short nerd. Get off Phil’s back.

Boy Pierce – eliminated by Nico – I thought the Boy Pierce entry had it this year. Even changing the Cro caption to Asskicker BJ. It was a lock. I don’t know if the Boy Pierce approach is working with the brackets though. Do you ever grow into Pre-Pubescent Pierce then on to Beer Belly Pierce? Or do you just stay Boy Pierce? I wonder what his picks would be like. Certainly Beer Belly Pierce would make it out of the Sweet 16. I think this is worth looking into.

Matt Atallian – eliminated by Wake Forest – I hate you for not following your own advice. This day will not be forgotten. The championship belt has begrudgingly put up for grabs thanks to your idiotic picks this year.

Mike Y – eliminated by Gerald Henderson – I am very pumped to see Mike Y removed from contention. While it hurts to see you beating me in the standings, knowing you had Duke winning the title makes that temporary. Thanks for entering though; it was fun drawing on your entry and listening to you yell at the TV when Duke was getting wiped all over the floor. We’ll meet up again on the fantasy field this fall.

Little Kermit – eliminated by Jon Scheyer – Thanks for entering this year. I hope you don’t take the loss too hard. You had a real nice run at the beginning, but having Duke winning is always a mistake. I hope you come back next year. Also be sure to make fun of Chris for me. I think you’re more mature then he is.

Tom Moffa – eliminated by Fritz – Another frustrating year for Tom Tight Real Tight. Nothing wrong with your bracket this year, you just can’t get past Fritz. Probably can’t get by his stupid huge Mohawk. Glad you entered though. The T-Moff entry has become a staple in this tournament. You are a Cro Hater to the highest degree.

Adam Tatz – eliminated by Jenna – Again refusing to fill out an official ABC bracket has cost you. I think once you make the switch, you’ll begin to unlock your potential. Having an all Big East Final 4 was admirable, but highly unlikely. Hope things are going well at the Martinique. A visit is needed as soon as possible.

Uncle Kermit – eliminated by himself – I know you’re new at this, but there’s a golden rule in the ABC. Cro doesn’t win. And if you have the same national champ as Cro, which means you don’t win either. I know you had no way of knowing, but as soon as I saw that you had Memphis I knew you were toast. Also, I think you look like ex-Phillies pitcher John Lieber, and I think that’s awesome. Thanks for entering this year. I hope the Hoffman’s make an appearance next year.

Shaun Askin – eliminated by Jenna – I don’t know what happened here man. Bracket is in excellent shape. You just can’t pass Jenna because she has the same picks as you from here on out. This means only one thing. If you had Nova beating Pitt in the Elite 8, you’d still be alive. Tough pill to swallow. Sorry boss.

Chris Woody – eliminated by Fritz – This also makes my day to see the King eliminated. If I can’t beat you in fantasy football, this is the next best thing. I know I didn’t beat you in this either, but you can’t win and that’s all that matters.

This concludes a lengthy Sweet 16 post. I would like to congratulate everyone who kept their names off the list for the time being. You still have some meaningful basketball left. There will be another post at the completion of the Elite 8. We’ll have a real good idea of the contenders on Sunday. Good luck to everyone that remains.

Matt

Cro Found Weeping After Round 2

2009-03-22T22:17:00.002-04:00

The ABC has found itself in uncharted waters this evening. After the completion of Round 2, Cro has been reduced to playing the role of bottom feeder. He certainly isn’t out of contention, but it is refreshing to see him tied with his arch-enemy EEB. Cro was seen laughing at EEB’s expense after a tough round 1, stating that EEB is always at the bottom of the table. Doesn’t look like Cro has much to say at this juncture.

After 2 days of tournament watching in Newark, the ABC crew packed up their bags and headed north to the city of brotherly love. We were on our way to the Sheraton hotel in Center City when we realized that there were games still being played in Philly, and there could be a possibility of seeing some teams at the hotel. We joked that it would be awesome if UCLA was there due to the fact that they have some of the most attractive cheerleaders/dance team in the NCAA. Sure enough, when we entered the hotel, there was UCLA stuff all over the lobby. They were actually staying at the hotel! As we stood inline to check in, the players were all standing by the elevators to return to their rooms. Alfred Aboya is huge! I tried to get an exclusive interview with some of the players and coaches for the blog, but they said the lack of a press pass prevented them from talking to me. It would have been some NCAA violation that would result in a heavy fine. I don’t know where you get one of these things, but I am getting really irritated that I don’t have one.

There was a shocking upset in Round 1 which saw Wake Forest completely man-handled by Cleveland State. They were down by 20 early, and never really came close to winning the ball game. Their point guard and “leader” Jeff Teague only took 7 shots from the floor. The kind of performance you want from a player in big time situations. I’ve been saying all year that Wake are nothing but a bunch of frauds. They went 7-6 in their last 13 games leading up to the tournament. For whatever reason, I refused to heed my own advice when filling out my bracket. I had Wake losing in the national championship game to Pitt. It makes no sense to me that I would put my bracket in such jeopardy. Now my bracket is pretty much irrelevant after one weekend. I hate myself for that pick. The only consolation could be found on the Cro bracket, as he also had Wake reaching the Final Four.

I would also like to praise the Justin Romano bracket for almost pulling off the pick of the decade. Romano had Siena penciled in to knock off Louisville in the second round. Siena had the lead late in the 2nd half, but Louisville proved to just be too much for the Saints. While most people would ridicule the pick, I think it takes tremendous guts to pencil in an upset of a #1 seed on the first weekend. Congrats to your sir.

Here are the standings after the first weekend.

Jake Hoffman 53
Mike Lambros 52
Uncle Kermit 52
Shaun Askin 52
Tony K 51
Jenna Lawall 51
Chris Fusco 51
Matt Atallian 50
Phil Imbesi 49
Adam Tatz 49
Nico T 49
Big Mike 49
Brandon Gravett 49
Fritz Ablao 49
Tom Moffa 48
Little Kermit 48
Chris Woody 48
President Obama 47
Justin Romano 46
Dosh Whye 46
Mike Y 46
Pat Shields 45
Sports Illustrated 45
Boy Pierce 45
CRO 44
EEB 44
Michelle Folkerts 43
The Dennis 41
Mike Smith 38
Drew Smith 38

Based on these standings, it looks like we have another family conspiracy on our hands. As you might recall, last year’s tournament saw the Atallian household run a clean sweep taking 1st, 2nd and 3rd. Now, the Hoffman’s are closing in a repeat of history. Son Jake and Uncle Kermit are 2 of the top 3, and Little Kermit is not far behind. Of course, Chris Fusco is in the middle of all of this. He is related to the Hoffman’s and convinced them to enter this year. I’m not sure what to make of this. Last year it was amazing to be apart of such an experience, but now that I’m on the outside looking in, I can’t help but to feel cheated.

Games will resume on Thursday night, with the headliner being the Villanova vs. Duke match up. Check the blog for updates after the Sweet 16.

Good luck and keep Cro down.

Matt

Anyone But Cro Invitational Reaches New Heights

2009-03-20T02:01:00.002-04:00

First off, I would like to congratulate each of you for being apart of this record breaking experience. Last year, the ABC entered a new realm with 26 people having their shot at the one we refer to as Cro. This year, we’ve peaked at 28 official entries. While President Obama may have submitted his bracket, it is considered unofficial as his entry fee was waived. If Obama were to take the prize, he has personally assured all of us a visit to the White House. All of us except Cro that is. As a sports fan, Obama knows what it means to defeat someone like Cro.

I am writing this blog on the road for the first weekend of the NCAAs. And by road I mean the Super 8 in Newark, DE. It marks the first time the ABC has taken the journalistic approach away from home. Our team of statisticians and writers were supposed to embark on a journey to Miami for some games and South Beach, but unfortunately our request for a press pass was denied. Apparently you have to be associated to an actual news service to get one of those. The ABC will be recognized by the national media soon enough, of this I’m sure.

Today brought a few intriguing story lines to the presses. The first round of games saw Memphis struggle to take care of business against the Matadors of CS – Northridge. That was definitely not the performance I would be looking for if I were Cro or Uncle Kermit. Of the 28 entries, Cro and Uncle Kermit are the only 2 entries with Memphis winning it all. It also brought a Villanova comeback against the American Eagles (no lie, it’s their actual name). Nova was down 10 at the break, but took over in the 2nd half to win by 13. UCLA also hung on to knock off Colonial Athletic Association winner VCU by 1. I personally hate rooting against CAA teams as they provided us with the Final Four run by George Mason. University of Delaware is also a member of the CAA. Maybe one day UD will actually find 5 guys that can ball together. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I miss the days of Mike Brey.

I know it’s early to be calling people out, but I have a beef with a particular entrant this year. He is a first timer, and may have over-stepped his boundaries without realizing. For those of you who are unaware, I attend trivia at Matilda’s almost religiously every Thursday. One of my trivia teammates is Mike Y. The following question was posed:

“Matches were formed after the discovery that rubbing these two elements together will ignite a flame”.

Naturally, I said sulfur and oxygen. Most people know that a flame needs oxygen to continue burning. I learned this from Bear Grylls on Discovery’s Man vs. Wild. TV doesn’t lie. And he kills stuff with his bare hands. Made perfect sense to me at the time. Anyway, Mike disagreed in such a manner that embarrassed me. He began to wag his finger claiming that a match wouldn’t catch fire if he started flapping it in the air. Was he right? Of course he was. However, Mike has Duke winning the title. I can see a match igniting in thin air more than I can see Duke winning the championship. And the Earth’s atmosphere is 78% Nitrogen. So suck it Mike Y. By the way, the answer was Phosphorous and Sulfur.

Also, I would like to commend Jenna and Dosh for sharing the lead with Cro. Both Jenna and Dosh had a perfect bracket through 8 games, but Illinois and Clemson did them in respectively. Cro tried talking smack, but I’ve written it off as drunken ramblings as he is currently snoring. It took him all of two seconds to fall asleep after hitting the sheets an hour ago. Poor kid can’t hold his booze.

I do not have paper copies of all the brackets at this point, but there was only a couple notable nidges after Thursday. The following people lost Sweet 16 teams:

Brandon Gravett – Clemson
EEB and Boy Pierce – Miss State
Sports Illustrated – VCU and Clemson
The Dennis – Illinois, but did save Clemson. He had them beating OU, but crossed them out.
Nico – Illinois

Again, thanks to everyone for participating. I’m going to hit the sheets as I have a long day of NCAAs ahead of me tomorrow. Keep checking the blog for updates. Here are the standings through Thursday March 19th:

Dosh Whye 15
Jenna Lawall 15
CRO 15
Adam Tatz 14
Big Mike 14
Chris Fusco 14
Mike Lambros 14
Uncle Kermit 14
Matt Atallian 14
Michelle Folkerts 13
Nico T 13
Phil Imbesi 13
Shaun Askin 13
The Dennis 13
Tony K 13
Boy Pierce 13
Chris Woody 13
Justin Romano 13
Tom Moffa 13
Brandon Gravett 13
Jake Hoffman 13
Little Kermit 12
Mike Smith 12
Mike Y 12
Pat Shields 12
Sports Illustrated 12
EEB 12
Fritz Ablao 12
President Obama 11
Drew Smith 10

Catch you tomorrow,
Matt.

Get your red pens ready!

2009-03-19T09:58:00.003-04:00

Play along with Matt and cross out Cro's teams one by one.

Scoring

2009-03-16T20:12:00.002-04:00

1st Round - 1 Point
2nd Round - 2 Points
Sweet 16 - 5 points
Elite 8 - 10 points
Final 4 - 15 points
Champion - 25 points

Procedures

2009-03-16T20:01:00.006-04:00

OK guys, time to run through some procedural things to make sure we're all on the same page. To submit your bracket, click on the "Official 2009 ABC Bracket" link on the right hand side of this page. A pop-up window will appear and ask you if you want to Open or Save the file. You can either view it and then save to your computer, or save directly. Either way, save the file to your machine, fill out your picks, and e-mail it to matt.atallian@gmail.com.

To complete your entry, you need to fork over the cash! In order to do this, click on the PayPal button. The entry fee of $10 is pre-filled. Just sign into your PayPal accout and you'll be on your way.

I'll post all the entries I receive on the site. I'll also send you a confirmation e-mail when I recieve your bracket.

Please make sure your bracket is submitted by 12 NOON ON THURSDAY MARCH 19TH.

NO LATE ENTRIES WILL BE ACCEPTED.

Good luck to everyone except Cro.

Cro Rumor

2009-03-13T23:15:00.004-04:00

Hey did you guys hear about Cro? Somebody told me he goes down to Home Depot and pays the migrant workers to go to his house and choke him in the shower.

Happy New Year

2009-01-05T21:04:00.002-05:00

...from Cro and the Contributors

Bloody Mary

2008-10-23T19:56:00.004-04:00

Post homecoming Deer Park brunch, with Blood Marys of course. Cro doesn't appreciate the traditional vodka/tomato juice/hot sauce/celery/mini shrimp. He prefers the water/ketchup/hot sauce version. Nico is helping make Cro's a little spicier.

The Final Recap

2008-04-08T20:59:00.004-04:00

With 2.1 seconds remaining in regulation, Super Mario Chalmers rose up from the top of the key, a buried what could be the biggest shot in University of Kansas history. His bomb tied the game up a 63-63 and forced overtime in the National Championship game for the first time since 1997.

When that shot went down, the National Weather Service recorded a 5.0 on the Richter Scale coming from the Atallian residence. Assembled for the first time this tournament, the family and I were pulling hard for the Jayhawks. The standings clearly reflect why. A Jayhawk win would mean that I take first place, Big Mike takes second, and The Dennis runs away with third. So you can imagine the eruption coming from the family room at approximately 11:30 PM EST. We were back on our way to a clean sweep.

With 2:12 remaining, The Dennis noted that there were some heavy chins in the room as the Jayhawks were down 9. Things looked bleak. I had gone from champ to losing 2nd place on a stupid tiebreaker to Jenna. I was so pissed thinking about having to write a recap blog in which I lost to Jenna. Big Mike was seen with his face buried in his hands. $50 for a 14 year old is a ton of money. It was so close, and yet it seemed so far away. Somehow, we rallied the troops and knocked off the poor free throw shooting Tigers in a classic comeback victory.

I would like to congratulate Tom Tight Real Tight on a tremendous effort this year. It's amazing how quickly you can turn your back on a team in the NCAAs. Saturday night, you're going nuts because KU is dominating UNC. 48 hours later, you're cursing their comeback. I wish I could offer you some kind of consolation prize, but you tumbled all the way down to 5th place. I am still waiting for a response to my text message that informed you of not placing in the top 3. To add insult to injury, Romano passed you to take 4th place.

Romano of all people! Every year, he lives and dies by Memphis. He was the only person to have them in the final, and it worked. Only you fell one spot short of a cash prize and you still lost to Big Mike. It still has to feel like a success despite those two facts.

I also want to congratulate the Dennis and Big Mike for their outstanding brackets. Picking the champ is not an easy thing to do. Especially with me preaching Kansas since the beginning of November. The Dennis claims he was brainwashed into picking KU, but I don't expect any complains from him now. Also, his winnings were spent on a new bottle of celebratory Sambuca. The old bottle was polished off after KU sealed the victory.

If you guys think I cheated for whatever reason, I'll be more than happy to show everyone's bracket to you for proof. I'll even send them to PriceWaterhouseCoopers for an independent audit. I feel bad for winning the ABC for the 2nd time in 3 years, but there's nothing I can do. You guys just need to step your game up next year. Maybe I'll rename it Anyone But UJ, but it doesn't have the same ring as Cro.

For those of you who failed to beat Cro, shame on you. He had a terrible year this year with his champ not even making it out of the Sweet 16. That's a prime opportunity guys!! It's like missing 4 out of 5 foul shots down the stretch to blow a lead in the final minute of the National Championship game.

There will still be Cro hating going on between now and next March. I'll be adding some Cro stories here and there. I'll also be keeping tabs on Cro's Fantasy Baseball team and letting you know how he's doing there. Key baseball players to hate this year are Brian McCann and Prince Fielder. I don't care who wins the baseball league, as long as its not Cro. His team currently sits 10th out of 12.

Anyway, here are the final standings for the 5th Annual Anyone But Cro Invitational. Thanks again to everyone for participating. See you all next March!

Sincerely yours,
Matthew Atallian-Chalmers

Matt Atallian 141
BIG MIKE 136
The Dennis 133
Justin Romano 127
Tom Moffa 118
Jenna Lawall 116
Sports Illustrated 113
Chris Fusco 112
Michelle Folkerts 111
Pat Shields 108
Ken Zuroick 101
EEB SON 99
Adam Tatz 98
D-Weeze 96
Brandon Gravett 94
Nico Tennant 93
Chris Woody 88
CRO 87
Mike Smith 84
Ryan Fontana 84
Fritz Abalo 81
A.C Billz IV 80
Boy Pierce 75
Phil Imbesi 72
Derek Fuhrmann 70
Amanda Short 66
King Chaz 52

Standings after the Elite 8

2008-03-30T21:01:00.006-04:00

The weekend is officially over, and all but 4 (more on that later) of us are left wondering what happened. There were really no good games this weekend until my Kansas Jayhawks held off Stephen Curry and the Davidson Wildcats. The kid was lights out in the first half once he got going. Curry got off to a rough start, going 0 for 5 from the field but quickly got hot until the game hung in the balance. Coming down the stretch, Curry missed 6 or 7 shots in a row that would have given Davidson the edge. He did hit a 3 with 54 seconds left to cut the lead to 2, but KU proved to be too much inside for the Wildcats in the long run.

In other news, Memphis slapped Texas’s ass in Houston, much to the chagrin of D-Weeze. His bracket lived and died by Texas. As soon as Texas went down, so did he. So Dosh, I recommend putting on the original Young Jeezy CD and settle in for a marathon of America’s Next Top Model. It will take your mind of the Texas loss for the time being. Look on the bright side, you defeated Cro. In the end, that’s all anyone can ask for. You leave the ABC with your dignity in tact.

UCLA dominated Xavier from wire to wire in Phoenix. Cro was seen crying in Las Vegas during this game. We suspect it was a combination of Kevin Love dominating the Musketeers and Cro busting his elbow in an attempt to fill up an ice bucket at the Luxor hotel. After the Tennessee loss, he was unavailable for comment as he fled the East Coast in an attempt to escape the wrath of the ABC. For the 5th year in a row, he will not be crowned champ. We owe it all to Rick Pitino and the Louisville Cards. Tennessee really had no chance from the opening tip. They were down 16 before they knew what the hell hit him.

Enough rambling. Lets get down to the crux of the ABC Standings. As mentioned earlier, there are only 4 people left standing after the Elite 8. They are as follows:

Jenna Lawall
Chris Fusco
Tom Moffa
Matt Atallian

I have a few comments on the remaining contestants before the winning scenarios are revealed. First and foremost, I would like to congratulate Chris and Jenna for both selected all 4 Final Four teams correctly. I know, it doesn’t take much knowledge or balls to pencil in all 4 #1 seeds, but it is the first time in history that all 4 #1 seeds have advanced to the Final Four. I’m pretty pumped about that, since it provides some really interesting matchups.

Conversely, I am pissed that Chris and Jenna are still in contention. Every year, I look forward to ripping on Jenna when she is eliminated. Two years ago, she stooped so low as to pick teams by the color of their court. I am embarrassed to be losing to her right now, and so should all of you. Also, I think Chris and Jenna are in cahoots. My theory is they simply entered two VERY similar brackets in hopes to collect both 1st and 2nd prize from us and then split the winnings. This gets under my skin. So in that case, I hope you both loose and receive nothing. Good day SIR!

Also, Tom Tight Real Tight has advanced to the Final Four of the ABC Invitational for the first time Moffa family history. I know he must be pumped out of his mind right now. You now have bragging rights over Kenny and Fontana for the rest of the year. He deserves the bid, since he was the biggest proponent of taking down Cro Thursday night. Sure he had Louisville winning, but the first thing he mentioned was he desire to see Cro fall. Congrats to you and good luck next weekend.

Lastly, I am still alive after fighting off a 2 for 11 start from Brandon Rush tonight. It was way too close for comfort, but the Bill Self squad found a way to sneak in. I would like to assure all of you that I did not look at one of your e-mailed brackets until mine was complete. It would be unfair of me to submit my bracket after scouring all of yours for games where I may pick up points. I did it honorably, and besides, I probably won’t win anyway, so no need to worry.

Here are the scenarios in the Championship game and the ABC winner as a result:

North Carolina beats Memphis – Chris Fusco
North Carolina beats UCLA – Chris Fusco
Kansas beats Memphis – Matt Atallian
Kansas beats UCLA – Matt Atallian
Memphis beats North Carolina – Jenna Lawall
Memphis beats Kansas – Tom Moffa
UCLA beats North Carolina – Jenna Lawall
UCLA beats Kansas – Tom Moffa

And the standings following the completion of the Elite 8:

Jenna Lawall 116
Chris Fusco 112
Tom Moffa 103
Ken Zuroick 101
Matt Atallian 101
Sports Illustrated 98
BIG MIKE 96
Michelle Folkerts 96
D-Weeze 96
Brandon Gravett 94
Nico Tennant 93
Pat Shields 93
The Dennis 93
Chris Woody 88
CRO 87
Mike Smith 84
Ryan Fontana 84
EEB SON 84
Adam Tatz 83
Fritz Abalo 81
A.C Billz IV 80
Boy Pierce 75
Phil Imbesi 72
Justin Romano 72
Derek Fuhrmann 70
Amanda Short 66
King Chaz 52

On a side note, the battle between Big Mike and perennial bottom feeder Justin Romano has been settled. The edge goes to Big Mike again. Romano, I'm sorry that you have to listen to my brother talk trash for another year. I'll keep him in check for you. It'll be a long year till you have a shot to shut his yap.

Again, thank you all for making the ABC such a great success this year. It was the biggest in terms of entrants and by far the coolest with the addition of the website. Thanks for paying on time, with the exception of Fontana, Fritz, and the other two Atallian’s in the pool. I know we’ll square up soon.

And lastly, thank you to Anonymous for that amazing Cro story posted after the 2nd Round standings were unveiled. It truly was a work of art, and I have submitted it to the Library of Congress and the Pulitzer Prize Committee. It will be forever enshrined in history, and will be read in many many high school English classes in the near future. It was so deep and emotional. It truly touched every Cro Haters soul.

Keep an eye out for updated standings after the Final Four on Saturday. It will be important for you all to see if you pass Cro in the standings. A word to the wise, Cro cannot gain anymore more points, as he had Tennessee over Texas in the final. He is locked in at 87.

Standings and Officially Eliminated List after Sweet 16

2008-03-29T00:50:00.003-04:00

The standings are listed below. Rant will ensue later this weekend. Having to be at the Stamp Center at 9 AM tomorrow morning has put a severe damper on the rant, and has prohibited me from giving it the attention it deserves. Also, if your name appears on the Eliminated list, you cannot come in first place. That is not to say you can't come in 2nd however. Unless you are the likes of King Chaz, who is absolutely removed from any contention. I will have choice words for you elimantees come Sunday.

Sports Illustrated 78
CRO 77
Jenna Lawall 76
Pat Shields 73
Nico Tennant 73
Tom Moffa 73
Chris Fusco 72
Ken Zuroick 71
Matt Atallian 71
Chris Woody 68
BIG MIKE 66
Michelle Folkerts 66
D-Weeze 66
Ryan Fontana 64
Mike Smith 64
Brandon Gravett 64
The Dennis 63
Adam Tatz 63
Fritz Abalo 61
A.C Billz IV 60
Amanda Short 56
Boy Pierce 55
EEB SON 54
Phil Imbesi 52
Justin Romano 52
Derek Fuhrmann 50
King Chaz 42

Eliminated as of March 28, 2008:
Ken Zuroick
BIG MIKE
Michelle Folkerts
Ryan Fontana
Mike Smith
The Dennis
Adam Tatz
Fritz Abalo
A.C Billz IV
Amanda Short
Boy Pierce
EEB SON
Phil Imbesi
Derek Fuhrmann
King Chaz

ABC Invitational - 2nd Round Standings

2008-03-24T00:21:00.005-04:00

Undoubtedly one of the worst NCAA weekends in the history of NCAA weekends as far as Cro in concerned. I have to be honest here; the kid has picked them well this year. Believe me guys, it pains me to admit that. He pointed out that he hasn’t needed red marker since Friday. I was distraught when he mentioned this tidbit of information. I mean Tennessee escaped Butler and WKU and Davidson made the Sweet 16. I am already losing focus trying to write this update, that’s how upset I am.

But as I gather my thoughts and take a collective breath, we must realize one thing. As follower He-Man Cro Haters, we MUST stick together. If I had to peg Cro as one Little Rascal, he would be Alfalfa. He always seems to know what he talking about. Granted, he doesn’t spin the meanest game, but he is consistent in his ways. I mean, in no way do you want to be him because of the hardships he faces (25 people opposing him), but he handles the pressure in his own way that you have to respect. In the classic 1994 film, Alfalfa wins the Soap Box Derby by the length of his cow-lick. This is where things are different. I believe if we rally as a group, we can prevent this so called “Cro Magnon Man” from winning the title for a 5th year in a row.

Do you guys remember the DARE classes we had in grade school? One of the defenses to someone asking to you do drugs was strength in numbers. This principle could not be truer at this moment. While seeing Cro in the lead at this moment may induce use of drugs, it is important to realize that if we stick together, we will overcome.

This is a common theme through every ABC invitational. Cro is in the select few at the top after the first weekend. Everyone is upset. Then come the second weekend, his picks fall apart. We have no reason to fear. A wise man once said, “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” Cro will be stopped. I will not rest until it so.

Also, I believe it was another wise man who said “Ask not what the ABC Invitational can do for you, but what you can do for the ABC Invitational.” And if I am not mistaken, in the early 1900's, third wise man said "Speak softly, and kick Cro's ass in the ABC."

It is people like Boy Pierce, while I commend the ballsy picks, who have let down the ABC cause. He was without a doubt hit the hardest over the Saturday / Sunday periods. Poor Pierce has suffered losses of two Final Four teams in Georgetown and Marquette and now finds himself in the ranks of EEB and Fritz. It appears the better days are behind you Sir. Remember that time we beat Holy Angels in basketball and Wayne spazzed during the post game speech? Those were indeed the better days. I look forward to you being able to channel that intensity for next year, and finally be able to knock off Cro.

Speaking of EEB and Fritz, you guys have struggled from the get go. How does one pick 16 of the first 32 games wrong? You have to go against common sense to make the picks you made. After all the talkking up of Davidson you did so much last year, I could have sworn you would be on the bandwagon again this year. But for some reason, you ditched your boys at the last second, and they deservedly stabbed you in the back. Your bracket isn’t in that bad of shape yet, but it will happen in due time.

As for some other contestants, I’m left scratching my head. One name that comes to mind is Phil Imbesi. How could this happen? You packed serious heat last year, only to fall severely off pace this year. I don’t know what those clowns do out in St. Louis, but it is obvious that having the Bilikins as your only source of b-ball has had a direct effect on your picks. You need to get out of that town ASAP, or my name isn’t Jibbs featuring Jibbs. Do your chain hang low? Do it wobble to and fro? It is apparent at this juncture that your chain has lost its wobble. Sorry bout your luck.

Also, Brandon Gravett has found himself on the short end of the stick once again this year. I appreciate his effort in traveling to Newark, DE to root against Cro. We fell short in the Drake / WKU game, and I am still recovering. I really can’t rip on you too much because you bought me a Car Bomb after the San Diego win, for which I am eternally grateful.

I will leave you guys on that note. Look for a post between now and Thursday with a list of officially eliminated contestants. If you find you name on the list, it simply means you cannot take first place. You are still eligible for second or third place. Payout for this years ABC will be $200 to the winner, $50 to second place, and third place will get their $10 back.

Here are the standings following Round 2:

CRO 52
Pat Shields 48
Chris Fusco 47
BIG MIKE 46
Jenna Lawall 46
Amanda Short 46
Matt Atallian 46
Ryan Fontana 44
Nico Tennant 43
Tom Moffa 43
Sports Illustrated 43
D-Weeze 41
Ken Zuroick 41
A.C Billz IV 40
Derek Fuhrmann 40
Mike Smith 39
Brandon Gravett 39
The Dennis 38
Chris Woody 38
Adam Tatz 38
Justin Romano 37
Phil Imbesi 37
Fritz Abalo 36
Michelle Folkerts 36
Boy Pierce 35
EEB SON 34
King Chaz 32

ABC Invitational - 1st Round Standings

2008-03-22T00:26:00.003-04:00

The scene was Grotto’s Pizza on Main Street on the campus of the University of Delaware. The place was mobbed with townies who cheer for the chalk teams. It was apparent that picking an upset was against the townie code. We had just eaten two pizzas and downed some beers. Western Kentucky was up big on Drake and I was about to flip on Cro if I heard “Hilltoppers!!” with a finger wag one more time. However, Drake made a run and the game ended up going into overtime. Long story short, Western Kentucky hit a shot with no time left on the clock to win it, and sent Grotto’s into an absolutely frenzy. I felt like I had just been shot behind the left knee as I had collapsed in a heap behind our table. Cro was overjoyed and we had to hear about how he loves the ABC. Absolute nonsense.

I have beef with Cro because he talked too much hype about how ridiculous he was going to look for the Tennessee game. He had away messages 2 weeks prior that stated “Tennessee gear is in.” He slept in a disgustingly bright orange “In Bruce We Trust” t-shirt. He woke up and told me orange was sexy. However, at the bar, he covered his VOLS t-shirt with an Abercrombie hoodie and had his Tennessee headband on for less than a half of the game. The entire time the headband was on, he was beat red. I’m assuming he was self conscious about his image. A true Bruce Pearl fan would have shown up in orange body paint and suspenders. Intense my ass. Intense was the last word that came to mind. If one word could describe Cro’s performance, it was concerned. American could have easily won the game. Tennessee will not win the championship because they can’t shoot foul shots and can’t rebound.

Lets not panic yet though Cro Haters. As you can tell from his bracket, he has USC in the Elite 8. It was incredible to see him in shambles at Matilda’s. I wish you were all there to revel in my elation. Nothing, NOTHING, is better than watching Cro lose.

A close second is watching Cutter lose. After suffering through Red Sox championships, Patriots 18-1 (hahahah) season, and the Celts going from worst to first, Cutter has fallen on hard times. He has USC in the Final Four. What an idiot! He’ll make up some excuse like “Yo, I don’t care. I don’t know anything about b-ball.” Nobody knows anything about basketball. But it is great to see Cutter suck so early. I can only hope that his misery continues. One of the best K-State wins ever.

Amanda “Pants” Short is the other person that deserves a “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!” Poor girl had Vanderbilt in the Final Four, only to see them lose to the Siena Saints. She’s lucky she’s downstate this weekend to avoid the ridicule!!

After making a phone call to the Atallian residence, Big Mike informed me that The Dennis was found in the family room in shambles after the San Diego victory. He was furious that he had lost two games in a row to overtime buzzer beaters. Picking the close one separates me the men from the boys. At least it wasn’t the Oregon Ducks that cooked your Goose this year.

I must admit, I had San Diego beating Connecticut today. I don’t want to brag, but me and The King (not you Woody) are the only ones who predicted that game correctly. I almost wanted them to lose so it would make it more difficult for WKU to advance to the Sweet 16. This is the dedication we need in this invitational. Putting your bracket in jeopardy to make things more difficult for Cro. See the quote below:

“Cro, because he has no athletic bone in his body, assumes he knows everything about sports because he watches everything.” ~ EEB. This premise makes watching NCAA game with Cro one of the most irritating things ever.

Also I would like to comment on the Fritz Ablao bracket. Not only did he not email a proper bracket, he finds himself at the bottom looking up. It won’t last long though, hes only suffered one double nidge with Drake in the Sweet 16.

I know the rant was weak this go round. I promise the intensity will be better tomorrow after my bracket goes down the tubes. I am going to end this rant with a visual:

Eric Brooking laying on his couch. Wrapped up in a yellow UD fleece blanket. Blowing air into an empty Yuengling bottle. Uttering to himself, “God, why the hell did I pick Boise State?!”

Here are the standings after Round 1:

Pat Shields 26
BIG MIKE 26
Tom Moffa 25
Chris Fusco 25
Jenna Lawall 24
CRO 24
A.C Billz IV 24
Amanda Short 24
The Dennis 24
Ryan Fontana 24
Matt Atallian 24
D-Weeze 23
Boy Pierce 23
Sports Illustrated 23
Nico Tennant 23
Michelle Folkerts 22
King Chaz 22
Justin Romano 21
Mike Smith 21
Brandon Gravett 21
Derek Fuhrmann 20
Chris Woody 20
Adam Tatz 20
Phil Imbesi 19
Ken Zuroick 19
EEB SON 18
Fritz Abalo 16

Cro Bracket - Get Your Red Pens Ready

2008-03-20T10:35:00.004-04:00

click the image to view fullsize.

Get your red pens ready to cross out Cro's teams.
Know where you stand against him at all times.

good luck everyone (except Cro)

Point Values

2008-03-19T19:05:00.003-04:00

1st Round - 1 point
2nd Round - 2 points
Sweet 16 - 5 points
Elite 8 - 10 points
Final Four - 15 points
National Champ - 25 points

Submitting Bracket

2008-03-17T17:29:00.002-04:00

Hello and welcome the 5th Annual Anyone But Cro Invitational! As many of you are aware, the brackets were released yesterday at 6:00PM. You will find an official ABC Bracket on the left hand side of this page. When you click the link, it will open the Excel bracket in whatever Internet Browser you are using. To save a copy to your computer, simply go File ---> Save As. After you are statisfied with your picks, and think they are worthy of taking down Cro, please e-mail to matt.atallian@gmail.com as an attachment. The committee will send a confirmation email within 24 hours of receiving your bracket. Please note that your bracket must be submitted by noon on Thursday!!! This is when the tournament starts. No late entries please!!

Good luck to everyone. Scoring procedures will be posted tomorrow.

Cro Video "Not So Quick to Back Down"

2008-03-10T21:21:00.001-04:00

Cro Story - Rock-a-bye, Cro B

2008-02-28T10:04:00.003-05:00

Cro decided it would be a good idea to have "baby Cro spit up time" in his bed after a night of drinking. (he also hit the floor of the bathroom because i asked him to move so i can pee. of course he waits to be moved away from the toilet before puking)

So being the good Roomie that I am, I volunteer to go with Cro to the laundromat to clean his sheets, blankets, pillow cases and the 2 bath mats.

We jam everything we can into the biggest machine they got. Drop in 14 quarters and watch it go.

A couple minutes later, soapy water starts to pour out from the bottom of the door of the machine. Apparently in our desire for a clean bed, we got a bath mat stuck in the door. Water is everywhere, Cro is splashing around in it like a baby manatee (ahh referencing and old post)

We try to stop it with some stuff we found there, but really didn't care about cleaning up after ourselves, it was much funnier to watch it flood.

I got bored and got a egg roll from across the street.

After about 45 min of "haha were flooding the laundromat" and "mmm egg roll" the flooding has slowed.

The machine stops, and we take a look at the bath mat, which now sports a nice burn mark where it was stuck in the door and spun for the past hour or so.

Cro News - Big Bed

2008-02-27T09:15:00.001-05:00

According to LiL B 811: big bed comes today

So here at ABC we want our reader to decide what Cro will do first in his new big bed

(yes, bed comes today and polling ends tomorrow, but whatever)

Cro Story - Childhood Dream Within Reach

2008-02-25T20:48:00.010-05:00

Cro’s lifelong dream of becoming a male cheerleader took one more step to becoming a reality this past weekend. On Sunday, he was spotted entering Dolphin Stadium in Miami, Florida for the Marlin’s all-male, all-obese cheerleading squad: the Manatees.

Manatees, also referred to as “Sea Cows” or “Meg Griffins”, aren’t exactly the most nimble of creatures. Marlins front office wants their Manatees to be able to be a little more graceful, and being able to bust a move certainly won’t hurt.

Team officials said they want “big bellies with the biggest jiggle, big feet with the best dance moves and enthusiasm that will rock Marlins' fans out of their seats.” The Manatees will not be paid; however, they will receive free tickets to the games in which they perform. When asked about the opportunity, Cro could barley contain himself.

“I’ve always had a passion for cheerleading and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for guys like myself.”

“I’ve worked hard for this [gut], ya know? This is years of drinking, and its something I hold very close to me. My mom has always told me if you got it, flaunt it.”

“Since we won’t be receiving monetary compensation, I’m clearly not in for the money. It would be an honor and a privilege to be one of the inaugural Manatees.”

“We’re trying to make history here. Cheerleading has long been dominated by females. Fat guys wanna cheer too. And who knows, maybe you’ll see us on Sportscenter this summer.”

Cro’s audition routine consisted of dances such as the Perculator, Macarena, Electric Slide, and a variation of the smash hit Soulja Boy. He declined to comment on how the audition went, but when pressed he did say his Soulja Boy “killed.”

Final cuts won’t be posted until sometime later this week, but Cro is confident he will be among the 7 to 10 guys drafted.

For more on the Manatees: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080224/ap_on_fe_st/odd_fat_cheerleaders

Keep your fingers crossed.

Cro Story - The Big Brown Moose

2008-02-19T20:22:00.004-05:00

For those of you who don’t know, Cro and I work in buildings that are adjacent to each other. Because of this proximity, we dine together often during our lunch breaks. So during one of these lunch breaks in December, I told Cro of how I pooped my pants the night before I had to report to court to testify as a witness. I don’t know how it happened; I woke up in a pool of sweat at like 4 in the morning, only to find that I had voided my bowels in my PJs. Cro thought this was amazing that a grown man could poop his pants. He thought he was so far above such a juvenile, but hilarious act. He laughed in my face, called me names, and bragged about not being able to remember the last time he pooped his pants. I would have my revenge sooner than I had anticipated.

On Tuesday January 8th, around 12:30 PM, Cro and I left the premises for a 5-Star lunch at T-Bizzy (slang for Taco Bell). He had called out of work the day before, claiming a stomach ailment. However, the next day he felt he was up to go South of the Border. Cro, refusing to think outside the bun and try something new, got his usual 3 Supreme Gorditas, no sour cream. Because sour cream is icky.

We sit down in a booth in the back corner and begin to eat our meals. About halfway through, Cro proclaims that he has to fart, but was feeling gun shy since he was still recovering from a bug that had caused him diarrhea only 24 hours prior. Keep in mind, when I pooped my pants, he bragged that if he ever was unsure about a fart, he would squeeze cheek until he could sit on a bowl, thus preventing shitty pants.

For whatever reason, Cro leans to his left and decides to let fly. Silence follows. After about 30 seconds of staring at the table without speaking, Cro looks at me and says, “Dude, I’m not sure” ... “I think I may have.”

You can imagine my face at this point. My eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas. Cro is beside himself at what just happened, and says to me “I think I better go check.” Cro proceeds to slide out of the booth and make his way to the bathroom. He is not 2 feet away from the booth when I burst out in laughter. There is a wet spot right over his b-crack where the shart had leaked through. It was true! The impossible had become possible. Cro, a man who takes every known precaution for every known activity, had shit himself in public.

To make matters worse, Cro had to return to work for the next 3 ½ hours. He was still stunned that he had pooped his pants. He asked me for advice, since I was apparently an expert on the matter. The following dialogue ensued:

“Dude, if I were you, I would through those things out, and buy news ones at Target.”
“I’m not throwing these out.”
“What, why not?? You can get boxers for like 4 for $10”
“Not these boxers.”
“What, do you wear Abercrombie boxers too?”
“Yes.”
“HAHAHAHAHAHA.”

Cro did not buy new boxers. He parked on the upper level of the AIG parking garage, stripped down to his bare ass. He worked the rest of the day commando. What happened to the shitty boxers you wonder?

They were placed in his trunk, where they stayed until Cro arrived home around 5:30. Another pair of Abercrombie boxers salvaged. Thank God.

UJ

Cro Story - Tatzpiece and Cro-yo in NYC

2008-02-13T09:59:00.003-05:00

So Cro came up to NY for Aunt Rachaels friends birthday.

We head into the city, grab some dinner at an irish bar, then walk over to the other bar.

we start downing Jack and cokes and rum and cokes. I complain to the bar tender that Cro's drinks aren't strong enough (they gave him the little boy amount of alcohol. I made sure to fix that.)

At around 1245 we head out to penn station, to make sure we catch the 110-ish train (next one was at 2:57). The Taxi pulls up to Penn, I pay the man and we get out. Cro stumbles a bit, then pukes all over a cement road divider. He claims thats it for the puking, Hes feeling much better

we get downstairs and onto the train. Were standing in the vestibule by the train doors. Cro is squatting down, facing the floor with his arm holding onto a handle for dear life. 3 girls ask me if my friends gonna be okay. I say "yeah he's fine, does this all the time"

we get to jamaica and a seat opens up, he goes in first, i get the aisle....

...I wake up and were at Westbury (we get off at the next stop) i look next to me and Cro is kneeling on the floor,arms folded face down on his seat. i notices a little liquid dribbling out from his face. more and more reddish brownish chunky liquid come out. he looks at me, puke all over his seat. DING, we're at Hicksville (our stop), I jump up grab him and get off the train.

Parents pick us up, we go home. My mother will not allow him to return because he is a drunk.

The next day we watch the eagles loss.

Cutting the Tape

2008-02-10T14:42:00.000-05:00

This website is dedicated to the one, the only, Cro. He has provided us with many memories over the years, and I felt it was appropriate to share them with the world. He has also has the ability to make you hate any sports teams or athlete that he roots for. This is especially true come March Madness, when his teams are doing well and yours suck. When he is atop the leaderboard, and you are not. It really sets you off when he rubs it in your face, and when he told you shoud have picked Vanderbilt or Nevada. Teams I can't stand now. This happens every year, and has forced me to officially rename the Unky J Bracket Buster to the Anyone But Cro Invitational.

We will be running the updates, standings, and rants through here. Also, we will be able to exchange fond Cro stories and hopefully get commentary from Cro himself on said stories.

Brackets can be e-mailed to matt.atallian@gmail.com and entry fee will be accepted via PayPal. More details to come.

Until then, Cro, we love you. Hope you make your picks well this year, because any slip ups will be well publicized.

UJ